Newgrounds Best Games of 2009: Final

Newgrounds 2010 Tank Awards Review: The Games

Part 4

It's here! The big day has come, and the winners of the coveted Newgrounds Tank Awards will be announced within the next 24 hours! And oh shit I've only done 11 out of the 21 nominees! Oh shit oh shit oh shit!! Well if I calm me down, I'll tell me why this happened, and why it's okay and I should being such a girl...

Well the reasons are twofold. Firstly, it's the last month before all my uni work is to be submitted, so I've been busy, busy with that. Secondly, I got a proper real man-with-chest-hair job as a writer on NXTGamer! I've just started, and I'll be writing for them from now on. Whether or not this means I'll have time or willpower left for this blog remains to be fully seen, but I do think that after May I will have enough time to get back with Inside Indies as well as NXTGamer.

Now the reason why we shouldn't panic. I've played the other 10 games! Now granted, this will be an incredibly short review of the games thus far, however none of them really stood out enough to grant a full review when I'm on such a small time-frame. Not to say some weren't good, and awful. So let's get started on this more compact part of this mega review.

Portal Defenders

by Luis and BoMToons

Based off of the Newgrounds Portal itself, you fight your way through waves on enemies and bosses a-la Streets of Rage (or final Fight, depending on how bad your childhood was). Each character, enemy and boss is based off of Newgrounds personalities and users, which is where my liking for this game ended. It's incredibly, incredibly hard. Harder than "Hippolyta" hard! I couldn't get far enough in this game to enjoy fighting all the well known people from the community I love. I couldn't help but think it'd be much easier to message the people themselves and schedule a live boxing match between you and them. Although the art is great, looking a lot like "Dad & Me" and "Castle Crashers" that Behemoth has come to be recognised. Score: 5/10

Robot Dinosaurs (That Shoot Beams When They Roar)

by I-smel

Unsurprisingly, RDTSBWTR is pure, undiluted mental. This side-scrolling shooter has you pilot a jetpack-toting dinosaur (either Tyrannosaurus X or Dinomight) to shoot enemies down Gradius style. It's a lot of fun, and I especially enjoy the well enunciated roars as you laser you foes into explosions in the sky! Soundtracked by killer guitar riffs, the whole thing reeks of Power Rangers, Street Sharks, Biker Mice From Mars and any other mid-90's kids shows you can remember! Score: 7/10

Sonny 2

by Krinn

Not much to say here; hammy voice acting, poor graphics, awful writing, sub-par turn-based RPG gameplay... Not a hope at winning. I give it a 2 for effort. Score: 2/10

Spewer

by Bluebaby and FreeAsANerd

Gross at times, cute as hell at others, Spewer is a cleverly programmed platformer with a slime covered heart of gold. The art direction is a great, even with a vomit chomping blob as a main character. The level design is challenging but intuitive when combined with the diverse uses of the spew. The most impressive thing in Spewer though, is the programming. Dynamic fluid and jetpack like physics are near astounding. this game does falter in one series design aspect. Arrow keys to move, mouse to aim and shoot, and yet you use the spacebar to eat! resulting in your hands bouncing back-and-forth between positions for what should be a fairly intuitive process. It's like having the "B" button as melee in Xbox FPS's. How are you expected to multi task when the two functions being performed, in this case move and eat, cannot be done simultaneously without strain. Other than that though...! Score: 6.5/10

Thing-Thing Arena 3

by Weasel

It's another Thing-Thing game. Ever the fan-favourite, Thing-Thing has seen a huge popularity on Newgrounds since the rise of the "Madness" series of limbless gunplay.Easy to animate, fun to watch, a great formula for animation. This is the 7th game in this series. And what do you expect? More customisation. Soild games, but overall uninspired sequels of an uninspired knock-off. NEXT! Score: 4/10

Time Fcuk

by Bluebaby and TheBoob

Another one for Bluebaby, "Time Fcuk" (No I'm not spelling that wrong) has possibly the cleverest narrative in this line-up. It's very difficult to explain, but I do recommend you give this game a try, for the storytelling and dialogue if anything. The game itself works kind of like "Closure" in that you manipulate the surroundings to get past difficult puzzles. It's maddeningly difficult, I warn you this now, but I do think you should give it a shot for the first few levels, just to see how crazy/clever/fun it is. I'd like to have been there during development, I'll give it that. Score: 5/10

Toss the Turtle

by Foreverkul and Gonzossm

It's a cannon toss game. You've all played them. This one is one of the better ones I've played, with the implementation of a shop system and very funny art assets (I particularly liked the roaming banana, I won't tell you what it does, just try and hit it to see!). It does get bugged down, I believe, in the overly complicated WASD nudge controls and crosshair nudging. Because of this the game feels very cluttered which prevents it from being superfun, just quite fun. And that makes me sad, for I do enjoy tossing the turtle. Score: 6/10

Totem Destroyer 2

by regulargabs

PREPARE! FOR MEDIOCRITY! My advice? Buy "Gerbil Physics" on XBL Indie Games. Score: 2/10

Upgrade Complete

by The-EXP

I loved this game. I played this game right to the end and was sad to see it go. It has all the elements that a good game should; the core gameplay is fun, the idea is unique, the design is incredibly infectious. The concept is that you upgrade everything in this game. Everything. The menu, the sound, the game, the assets... even down to the copyright disclaimer! The game itself is fun as hell from start to finish, the upgrading system on the ship is unbelievably infectious and balanced so well. Each item's monetary assignment is just perfect. All this, AND it has a sense of humour. This game felt rare, and dare I say it, near genius. Serious contender for my favourite of the list. Score: 9.5/10

William and Sly

by Kajenx

I won't lie, I was looking forward to this. And where I fell in love with the music and the animation, the game holding it together was just a platformer with no real draw. Disappointed, I didn't play this game long as it gave me no real direction and I had no real desire to explore. The time I spent with it though, was nice. Like a sip of tea before leaving the mug in the kitchen. Score: 3/10

And so, that's all 21 games reviewed. I played them all. So what's my pick? Well I have 4 picks. My favourite, the worst (lovingly titled the "Too Human award"), and 2 possible choices for winner of the award. They are as follows:

"Inside Indies" Favourite Game: Upgrade Complete

Very, very nearly going to "Gretel & Hansel", Upgrade Complete metaphorically won by a nose, because games can't smell. but if they could, this game would smell like meat and sex. I loved this game, and as I said in the review, it embodies everything good design should be right from the core. Clever, funny, enjoyable, "Upgrade Complete" is my top pick of the list.

The "Too Human" Award: Sonny 2

In the review, I didn't put across just how dreadful this game is. The story and dialogue is gut-wrenchingly bad, and the voice acting is truly woeful. On top of that, the UI is teeny tiny and ugly, thus defeating one of the main gameplay aspects of a turn-based rpg that works solely on the menu itself! But my main gripe with this game, and actually why "Totem Destroyer 2" nearly won, is how uninspired it is. It's like an uncomfortable rehash of an already over-saturated genre actually known for how uninspired the games have become! This game is a complete dud, and thus wins the "Too Human" Award!

Winning Choice #1: Epic Battle Fantasy 2

Winning Choice #2: Ching Chong Beautiful

Why did I choose these two?

Well I chose "CCB" for it's sheer level of talent. original, funny, well animated and the gameplay works very solidly. The 4 criteria these games are being judged on are concept and originality, mechanics and controls, replay appeal and accessibility. While this game is quite tough, it soars above most others in each of the other categories. While I have chosen this as a winner, I actually hope this does not win, as it was created by close friend and employee The-Swain, thus eliminating any sense of community, by which Newgrounds is best known for.

And why Epic Battle Fantasy 2? The community. This game is incredibly popular with the Newgrounds fans, and almost represents the entire internet counter-culture in one swoop. All the while, is still a well animated, solidly programmed game that's fun and easy to get into. I do have problems with this game personally, but I am still choosing it to get the award later today.

• Don't bank your money on these picks, the bookies won't take 'em. Plus I'm probably wrong.

Newgrounds Best Games of 2009: Part 3

Newgrounds 2010 Tank Awards Review: The Games

Part 3

And from a short break, we return to the list of the Newgrounds Tank Awards nominees. Here we go again! (Btw, apologies for the incredibly long review of Epic Battle Fantasy 2, it includes a rant that has been long burning and had nowhere to vent. It's still relevant, however, but I do apologise nonetheless.)

Epic Battle Fantasy 2

by matt-likes-swords

Play time: 39 minutes (to Game Over)

Oh Jesus, never in my time can I recall being so frustrated at a game. Not your conventional frustration mind, that will forever be held by the likes of Skate 2 and the GTA series. No, frustrating due to conflicting feelings whilst playing this mindfuck. The reason for this is simple; the game is very impressive, but is chock full of internet memes and anime humour. I found myself hating the game for it's stupid, stupid humour, with it's "w00t"s and "GTFO"s. It even includes a Dragonforce "Power Metal" attack for Christ's sake!

Despite this, the game itself is pretty solid. It's a turn-based RPG heavily inspired by the Final Fantasy series, unsurprisingly. The main focus of the game is to defeat waves of enemies, whilst balancing your MP and HP with what are, essentially, maxed-out characters. This creates a problem immediately, however, as even though the player is made to feel powerful from the very beginning there is no real tutorial so the game is left to be discovered. My advice, is play Easy or Normal first time. The art ranges from good to great, sporting chibi characters at it's lowest, but incredibly impressive summons at it's best. The sound is pretty decent too, a great knowledge of the JRPG genre is clearly displayed.

The meme's are unforgivable, however. I would not mind this if it were confined to aiming the humour just to a young, internet-savvy audience, as that would make a lot of sense. My problem is in lines like "Kill it with fire and AIDS". That is unforgivable. There will always be a place for alternative comedy, but considering the audience, and the art style, this is just another case of ignorance that permeates throughout an entire internet culture. Leave the racism, "Faggot" and AIDS jokes to the people that understand how and when they are to be used, and to what effect. Comedy is an art, and those who understand it can make pure comedy, without this understanding, you're left with lines like "Kill it with fire and AIDS".

The story is quite awful too, so the game's only saving grace is the artist's talent and understanding of the genre. The content, however, is debatable.

Score: 5/10

Link: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/508777

Gretel & Hansel

by makopudding

Play time: 38 minutes

When I first started this and saw the list of the nominees, this was the one I looked forward to playing the most. Artistically it definitely stood out the most. And it did not disappoint! This is by far, my favourite of the bunch I've played. Not only the most charismatic, it also successfully combines a creative plot, clever puzzles and dark humour that is just great. Hansel & Gretel is a point & click, that doesn't exactly take the story from "Hansel & Gretel", instead opting for a similarly dark tone with childish features and simplicity in story-telling.

In the review for "Another Small Favour", I stated that it's lack of in-game deaths was quite a big design failure as it left the game feeling like a list of tasks to be performed. Gretel & Hansel is it's antithesis, as it sports 10 clever deaths, each rewarded both visually and with achievements. Personally, I loved this, it's clever, enjoyable and keeps you on your investigating toes throughout, always looking for not only the tasks to be completed, but for possible ways to interact with the environment. I, love this. Each as dark, surprising and visually pleasing as the last, I particularly liked Gretel's meeting with a local crow.

My only problem with this is the programming, as it's quite bug-heavy, particularly if you want a second playthrough. Of the 10 items to be collected, I only needed to collect 9, approaching the final puzzle only to be cut to the endgame and cutscenes. Besides this, Gretel & Hansel is by far my favourite of the games thus far. And if that's not all, here's a screenshot for the sequel, coming soon.

Score: 9.5/10

Link: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/515322

Level Up!

by titch007uk

Play time: 1 hour

Not much to say, even with the hour I spent with this game. Level Up! is a platform collectathon with quite a quirky twist and design theory. The premise is that you spend one day at a time collecting gems and levelling skills, and when the day is up you play a battle mini-game. If you lose you are taken to the next day, all your skills are reset to one yet you keep your gems and abilities you purchased i.e. double jump. The idea is that even though your skills are reset and you have to start again, you progress through knowledge of the game. For this, I respect creator Duncan Saunders quite a bit, as only the Skate series comes to mind in successfully creating a format in which the player progresses, rather than the character/avatar. It's a difficult task, and I think Level Up! is quite a clever step towards the idea.

The game itself is reasonably good, solid more than anything. The code works very well, credited to the multiple testers on the team. Well done folks, you actually tested, you'll be surprised at the amount of devs that forget this when it's a smaller scale project. The music loop gets annoying, but the animation has clearly a lot of love in it, the idle animation particularly. The writing, however, is horrid. The dialogue with possibly the most "Mary Sue" character since the cast of Questionable Content (Sorry Mr Jacques, but every character seems to have a PHD in everything. EVERYTHING!), "Girl" is as flat and uninspired as an anime fanfiction, with humour to match. I swear, each line is repeated at least three times each, which I assume is an attempt at a humorous back-and-forth. It's pixel art, but I think that if you could zoom in on their faces, you would see their one raised eyebrow and "Ctrl+Alt+Delete" postures. It's just the right amount of faux-cynical and know-it-all arsery that'll just catapult the player/reader/watcher into realms of generic and forgettable that they'll skip/scroll/forward past. Oh, and amnesia. I could talk for hours about amnesia.

Just. Stop. It.

I'm looking at you Namco.

Score: 6.5/10

Link: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/519030

Miami Shark

by Wiesi

Play time: Just a few minutes, 3 playthroughs

Holy shit. It's a goddamn shark causing havoc in Miami! He's pulling the goddamn planes out of the sky!! He's jumping on top of yachts and causing chain explosions!! HE'S EATING THE FUCKING DUCKS!!!

So you play as a shark, jumping and chomping a higher score in a frantic dash to the finish line at the end of the harbour. Not a lot to say other than this game is fucking mad, and fucking fun! the most fun game on the list so far, Miami shark comes shooting up past Crush the Castle and Ching Chong Beautiful, and it's going to take one hell of a fun game to knock it off.

Not a real contender, but Miami Shark has devoured my heart and left me screaming in a pool of my own fun.

Score: 7/10

Link: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/513760

11 down, 10 left. Although looking at what's left, I'm looking forward to it. "Spewer" looks odd and the thumbnail for "William & Sly" is intriguing the hell out of me...! Well, See you soon!